[Simple guy]

Hi …
This might sound real stupid….
Fortunately, I have always been with wonderful ppl which definitely includes beautiful girls. Not that I move with same ppl with me. Because of my work I have been moving around alot. So the ppl change but I never fall short of friends. Just few days back, One of my friend asked me why I dont have girl-friend? That question really got stuck now on me….I am 30 now and I didnt have single girlfriend in my life. I have so many friends, who are always there for whatever I need, but i still dont think any of them is my girlfriend. Even with friends around I feel I am alone.

Will I ever have one or is something wrong with me? How will I know who is she ?

Help me out …

[Ask April Masini]

It really sounds like you haven’t thought about having a girlfriend until this person pointed out to you that you didn’t have one. And now, you’re wondering why you don’t have one. It really doesn’t sound like anything is wrong with you at all. You just haven’t tried to have a girlfriend. If you want one, then you should consider asking someone you like out on a date. Figure out what YOU want and then see if you can find that person. Dating is a process, so don’t expect to find Ms. Right overnight, but you can begin the dating process by knowing yourself, knowing what you want in a girlfriend, and then asking out anyone who seems to fit that match between what you want, what they want, and how you are together. 😀

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
[/b]

[Simple guy]

Thanks April …
I had been away for while…i talking to girl for almost 7-8 months now…or let me go in detail….
met this girl…took her ph no…starting texting…As usual I have a habit bringing in everybody…got one more friend for group chat…we planned that we 3 should meet… other guy was busy so i said fine lets drop plans…she tells me that we shall meet …if the other person is busy..so we meet..tells me she has bf …long distance relationship…i was totally ignorantt about the story … both of us been out drinking…we keep texting in private and grp..went with trips around with her mother and herself till then i just looked at her as friend..the shhe talks about some weird dreams with me around…nothing sensual…but now suddenly i start to feel strange about it… my thoughts change about her… but i dont say anything…i have new set of friends..introduce her to them…on my way to outing…msgs me that she broke up with her bf…and hoped i was there around…i feel she sometimes giving me hints but i feelshe just out of serious relationship and maynot be ready for new one…now i going out of this place for 2 weeks with my new friends and her in town…and i dont trust these friends much…i cant say anything to her bcoz I introduced them to her…Now I feel like I like her but dont know how to express or if at all should ….
Please give some suggestion

[Ask April Masini]

Ask her out on another date! The dating process is great because it allows you to get to know people, and as a rule of thumb, during the first three months of dating, you should figure out if you want to continue dating her or not — and you should also assume she’s doing the same. Don’t invest too much energy or emotion in someone you don’t know that well, so with this woman, you should continue dating her and figure out if you want to keep dating her!

As for your not trusting your friends, you have to understand that dating is competitive. If you’re worried she might like someone else or start dating someone else, well, that’s part of dating life and it could happen with you, too — in other words you might meet someone else you like more than her.

So, relax, keep dating, and don’t force relationships to happen, but rather make sure you keep making the dates real dates so they’re not confusing to her as “hanging out” or “default” dating — and show your feelings in your actions, and watch for her responses in her actions, too! For instance, the fact that she broke up with her long distance boyfriend, and she told you about it, is a sign that she’s interested in you enough to let you know she’s made herself more single and available!

I hope that helps. 😀

[b]Check out my new FB Fan Page!! And If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” me — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

[Simple guy]

Thanks…
I am still little confused. Do you want to say that I should just call her up and just ask her that I am interested in her and check what is her response? Wouldnt that might sound weird to her ? but I can try that. The other day we met again, not general but she planned she wanted to meet me and my colleagues wife because we woudnt be meeting as I would be out of station for two weeks. I had some work in downtown and she had plans to go at some inbetween place. So we went together. On my way back, she calls me to check whether i can comedown to shop with her. So i did.The funniest part was she knew I had no interest in shopping and i went just because we could spent sometime togethr. And then just sit out and kept talking for couple of hrs..talking how are resp. families pushing us to settle down. and then on our way bck, she preferred that i should walk down to the closest exit to her route exit and inquired when is my return journey from work -return date time…
Ur comments?

[Ask April Masini]

[quote]Do you want to say that I should just call her up and just ask her that I am interested in her and check what is her response? Wouldnt that might sound weird to her ? [/quote]

Yes! 😀 Either call her up and invite her to dinner, a movie or both — or ask her out on a date when you see her in person. I think she’ll understand by your doing that, that you’re interested in dating her. Otherwise, you may end up in the friend zone! 😕

[b]Check out my new FB Fan Page!! And If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” me — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

[Simple guy]

I feel hopeless … end up keeping everybody involved… asked her for movie … she said yes … who all would join and instead of directly saying just two of us…i said .. i will check with rest or just two of us can go…thhough i just ended up asking them none joined … but it turned out to be regular hangout we normally had …. worst …strangely i used to talk anything under the sun … i couldnt simply ask her about us… i went blind nothing to speak in between…we kept looking here and there …during the dinner…i sometimes felt she was trying to not to open up …i thought this might be because of her old relationship … she may not be interested after endng the pretty serious relationship … 15 days i m out now…would curse myself…

let me know what should i do

[Ask April Masini]

You have to ask her out on a date, just the two of you. You’ll feel better once you do. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck in the friend zone. 😳 And….since you’re having trouble asking for what you want, write yourself a script on a piece of paper, so you can read from it when you call her on the phone. Memorize it if you can, if not, read it. It should be something like this: “I’ve really been enjoying our time together, and I’d love to take you on a real date, just the two of us. Would you have dinner with me Saturday? I can pick you up at 7 p.m. I’m really looking forward to time alone with you.”

Hope that helps!

[b]Check out my new FB Fan Page!! And If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” me — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

[Simple guy]

It was right that I couldnt ask her for date…Still I wanted give her some hints before I actually do that… We were planning to check out a new cuisine…I thought about it and on the day I was going out of town… I texted her that we missed going on that cuisine date…she texted we would go after I comeback but a cuisine date?…I replied I just thought…her reply was haha…I thought I must have acted stupid typing all this and replied did I say anything wrong…and she texted no no …

I am taking this talk in positive manner that is she is interested in going out for one…Ur thoughts?…I used to read ppl well just not able to get it this time or maybe it was just my assumption that I read ppl well…Was that a bad idea?…I did ping her once after that since I am very busy till end of next week…I dont know whether I would get any time… besides I felt I dont want her to think I am a pain and give her space..

[Ask April Masini]

You are sabotaging yourself by not asking her out on a date. 😳 You’ve come up with every excuse in the book to step away from your responsibility in a relationship — so you don’t have one. When you want one, and you’re ready to be responsible for having one, then I can help you. But I can’t help you if you’re not willing to do the work. 😳 Which you’re not. So…..Sorry — I can’t help you any more.

[b]Check out my new FB Fan Page!! And If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” me — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

[Ethan Morales]

You’ve been orbiting this woman for months without ever declaring gravity. Plenty of signs she’s interested (calls, plans, invites you along, lets you be near her), but interest and availability are two different things. You’ve treated every interaction like a group hangout or a casual favour instead of a chance to build something exclusive, and that’s how ambiguity breeds.

What’s happening isn’t mystical it’s fear dressed up as politeness. You keep “including everyone” because asking for one-on-one time feels risky. You say you want a girlfriend but behave like you want zero responsibility. That inconsistency kills attraction; people are wired to respond to clarity and confidence, not indecision and excuses.

The fix is simple and brutal: ask her out, one-on-one, with a clear plan and a clear label. Don’t “see who’s in” or call it a hangout. Say, “I really like you. Dinner Saturday, just the two of us?” Set the time, pick the place, pick her up or meet there small details show you mean it. If you freeze, write the line down and read it. No bravado required just plain clarity.

Prepare for any answer and keep your dignity either way. If she says yes, great don’t smother her afterwards. If she says no or hesitates, don’t plead. Thank her, step back, and live your life. Wanting someone doesn’t give you ownership; it gives you the right to test whether they want you back. If not, move on that’s not failure, that’s respecting yourself.

Cut the habit of dragging friends into romantic moves. It diffuses tension and hides your intent. If you want something real, create private moments where real intimacy can form. Also, stop wasting energy analysing every tiny text. Actions beat words: if she clears space and chooses to be with you, she’ll do it. If she doesn’t, stop hoping texts will change that.

Here’s the challenge be the guy who can say what he wants and accept the outcome. You’ve got the awareness; now use it. Ask her clearly, once. Then, no drama, no agonising. That single act of clarity will tell you everything you need to know about whether this is a relationship worth pursuing or a lesson worth learning.

[Tara]

You’re single because you’ve avoided emotional risk your entire adult life and wrapped it in the excuse of being “busy” or “always meeting new people.” That’s not bad luck, that’s passive living.

You’ve built a comfortable social circle where everyone likes you, but no one gets close to you. That’s not a mystery. That’s a strategy you never admitted to yourself. You want connection without vulnerability, attention without commitment, companionship without choosing anyone. And now you’re shocked that you ended up alone at 30. You engineered this.

There’s nothing “wrong” with you biologically or morally. What’s wrong is your approach: you float. You wait. You expect the right woman to magically reveal herself like a sign from the universe instead of actually pursuing anyone. Attraction requires action. Love requires intention. You’ve shown neither.

How will you know who she is? You won’t until you stop treating relationships like they’re supposed to fall into your lap while you sit safely on the sidelines. You meet someone, you feel something, and instead of overthinking it, you actually do something about it. That’s how adults form relationships.

[Sally]

It’s weird how one little comment can make you wonder if you’ve been missing something everyone else seems to have figured out.
But honestly? Nothing’s wrong with you. Some people fall into relationships early, and some don’t. It doesn’t say a thing about your worth. And having friends doesn’t mean you’re failing romantically it just means you haven’t met someone who makes you feel that pull yet.

You’ll know she’s the one you want when being around her feels easy and a little scary at the same time. When you don’t feel like you’re acting. When you actually want to let her in.

Just don’t rush yourself because someone else made a comment. Love shows up when you’re living your life, not when you’re trying to force it.

[Natalie Noah]

Simple guy is struggling with hesitation and overthinking, which has kept him from taking the one action that would move things forward: asking her out on a real, one-on-one date. He clearly has social skills and builds friendships easily, but he confuses friendship and casual interaction with actual dating. His fear of rejection, concern about appearing “weird,” and reliance on group settings have repeatedly blocked him from creating romantic opportunities. This is a classic pattern: people who are naturally nice and socially aware often sabotage themselves by avoiding direct expression of romantic interest.

It’s evident that the girl is interested enough to spend time with him, invite him to outings, and share personal details like her past relationship and family expectations. Her behavior indicates that she is open to closeness, but she is likely holding back until there’s a clear invitation for a romantic connection. Simple guy, however, misreads or second-guesses her cues. Instead of taking her signals at face value and acting on them, he dwells on hypotheticals and worries about timing or context, which leaves him stuck in a limbo of inaction.

April Masini’s advice is direct and consistent: the only way to break out of the friend zone is to ask her out clearly and confidently. Everything else texting, hinting, group outings, casual mentions of “cuisine dates” is ineffective because it doesn’t create clarity. The girl doesn’t know if he’s romantically serious or just being friendly. This repeated hesitation creates a feedback loop: he waits, she waits, and the opportunity for romantic progression stalls. April is emphasizing that accountability and action are critical in dating.

A major theme here is self-sabotage. Simple guy keeps looking for indirect ways to test her interest through hints, jokes, or group events instead of taking responsibility for his own desires. His concern about “not being a pain” or giving her space is understandable, but it’s being applied in a way that undermines his goal. Confidence in dating comes from expressing interest respectfully but directly, and accepting that rejection is a natural and valuable part of the process. Without this, he’s trapped in perpetual uncertainty.

The underlying lesson is about agency. Simple guy has all the tools to pursue a romantic connection: rapport, mutual interest, and shared experiences. The missing piece is his willingness to step into discomfort and clearly communicate his intentions. April’s final point is sharp but fair: if he isn’t willing to take responsibility for asking her out, no advice will move him forward. He has to act, embrace potential risk, and stop overanalyzing every interaction. Only then can he know whether a real relationship is possible or if it’s time to move on.

[Author]

Posts