Your heart has been invested in this guy for a long time, and the feelings you have for him are real. Your jealousy, insecurity, and the need for attention all make sense in the context of your past experiences especially feeling like love has been conditional or inconsistent in your life, both in romantic relationships and family dynamics. It’s natural that these emotions surface when someone you care about is physically close but emotionally unavailable. The fact that you’ve recognized these patterns already is a huge step toward self-awareness.
The core issue here is the boundary between friendship and romantic involvement. He has made it clear he only wants to maintain a friendship, yet his behavior being sweet, saying “I love you,” introducing you to family, and being physically affectionate is extremely confusing. That kind of mixed signal can make it almost impossible to move on because your emotional and physical connection keeps getting reinforced. The problem isn’t your feelings; it’s the situation itself. Being “friends” under these conditions is unsafe for your heart because it keeps you in a state of hope and emotional limbo.
I really want to highlight the importance of self-protection. Right now, staying in this friendship, especially while you still love him, sets you up to be hurt repeatedly. Every time he gives affection or attention, it reignites feelings and hope, even when his intentions are not romantic. The most compassionate thing you can do for yourself is create distance physically, emotionally, and socially even if it feels uncomfortable or awkward within your friend group. It’s temporary, but necessary to allow your heart to heal and move on.
Moving forward requires active redirection of your energy. You’ve already started doing things like limiting contact, not checking social media, and trying to build new connections. That’s fantastic. Now, take it a step further: immerse yourself in new activities, cultivate hobbies, and expand your social circles beyond the familiar friends that include him. Small changes, like joining a club, taking a class, or finding new ways to express yourself, will gradually shift your focus away from him and toward your own growth and fulfillment.
Emotionally, allow yourself to grieve the relationship you hoped for without blaming yourself or feeling shame. Missing him and feeling that “thorn in your heart” is normal. Healing is not linear it will take time, and that 5% of you that pulls back is just a part of the process. Be patient with yourself, and treat yourself like you would a dear friend with kindness, understanding, and the firm resolve to create space for someone who will reciprocate your love fully and consistently. You deserve clarity, stability, and someone who can meet you where you are emotionally.
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