[Anonymous]

So I’m a guy in high school student with a problem. I constantly fall in love and I cant help it but unfotunely I’m also very shy. So in detail I start looking at some girl at the class and couple minutes later I’m completely in love with her without even speaking to her in the worst case. But usually I can’t talk to her cause im to shy and fear that I would break my heart if it doesn’t work out.
And like this wouldn’t be enough I’m also to kind if you ask me to help you I just can’t say no I just can’t . And in my every day life I feel that I must help and If don’t Ill probably keep thinking about it long after it. Something like if someone drops her pen even in the other end of the class I feel that I must help.
So I think I could get the will to ask someone out but I actualy don’t know how. And I’m afraid that I make a complete fool of my self I’m just not sure what to do really.
I wonder if anyone else is noticed any of the same characteristics that I have in them I would love to hear what did they do. Any help for this hopeless romantic that just wants to find real love.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, you’re not in love with someone you’ve never spoken to. You’re [i]attracted[/i] to them without knowing them. Big difference.

If you want to get to know them and see if they’re someone you may or may not eventually fall in love with, you have to be willing to risk rejection. I know that you seem scared of being rejected, but think about what rejection really is. It’s someone telling you that you’re not the one for them. Now think about what would happen if NO ONE [b]EVER[/b] rejected you! You’d never be able to have one meaningful relationship because you’d have to date EVERYONE who didn’t reject you. You’d waste all your time sorting through everyone, and you’d never really find true love. So rejection is actually a gift. It guides you away from women who aren’t right for you and towards women who are interested in you and are therefore possibilities!

Also, remember that not everyone is going to be someone you’re going to want to date, so in your life, you’re going to have to reject women you don’t like enough to date and if you don’t, you’re going to waste their time and that hurts way more than a quick rejection.

So, I think that’s probably a lot for you to process and think about now! 😉

Let me know if that helps, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Anonymous]

You are rigth theres lot to think about now. I must say im thankful for your advice im sure that it will help me greatly. But you probably know your answer would open more questions. Most of these are things that i think i can overcome myself but i must ask your advise for this.
i did mention that im also shy so i would like to know is there any help for that you dont feal that you are going to almost feint when you talk to some one you are attracted to. I know this is rely nothing to worry about there something also left for me to figure for my self. But cause i noticed that you are very smart on things like this i would hope if you had any tips things that might help you could share them anyways it not like i can change everything of my self in one night.
Cause any help will probably help me overcome the barrier that i have build when talking to some one im attracted. And prevent me from over thinking things like usually do.
Other thing i rely rely need to know is how do you tell is some one all ready dating? And is completely rude to ask them if you are not sure?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Being shy is something you overcome by testing the waters and realizing that with each step you take — you didn’t faint, and you’re still standing and breathing! The flip side of being shy is that you’re just thinking about yourself too much. 😕 If you start thinking about others, too, you’ll realize that other people have insecurities and are shy just like you, so the person you’re approaching may also be shy, and by approaching her and starting a conversation, you may just be doing her a favor. So it’s not just about you!

You can tell if someone is ready to go out with you because they say yes when you ask! It’s that simple. Usually women will show signs of liking you — they’ll smile at you, hold your gaze, light up when you talk to them and laugh at your jokes. If all of these things are happening, then you can assume it’s all systems go, and you should ask her for a date.

I hope that helps!

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter. 😀

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