[Lune David]

Why does modern dating sometimes feel more like a competition than a connection? Everyone talks about wanting “an equal partner,” but the moment one person gets more attention, earns more, or shines a little brighter — the balance shifts.

Is love today secretly about power and ego instead of real intimacy? And if so, how do you find someone who doesn’t feel threatened when you win?

[Serena Vale]

That’s such a sharp observation, and honestly, one a lot of people feel but don’t say out loud. Modern dating does often feel like a quiet competition, where everyone’s trying to prove they’re the one who “has it together,” instead of simply trying to connect. Somewhere along the way, love got tangled up with image, followers, success, ambition, and the idea of being equals turned into a scoreboard instead of a shared foundation.

I don’t think it’s that people want power more than connection; it’s that vulnerability has become harder to risk. When you meet someone who shines, it can stir up insecurities we haven’t dealt with, the fear of being overshadowed, of not being enough. And instead of leaning into admiration or partnership, some people pull back or compete, just to feel safe again.

The antidote isn’t to dim your light, it’s to choose people who find peace, not threat, in your strength. The right person won’t need to match you in every way; they’ll simply value you. Real intimacy isn’t about balance sheets of who has more, it’s about safety, honesty, and respect that runs both ways.

So keep shining. The ones who are secure in themselves will never mistake your success for their loss.

[Ask April Masini]

We currently live in a competitive world.

From the time you’re a kid, you’re competing, in school, in sports, everywhere.

All our lives we’re thought rankings matters.

So yeah, everyone’s competing with everyone else. their friends, their families, even strangers online.

But the truth is love starts where the ego ends.

When you fall in love with someone, the sparks knock your ego right out of you.

But the less those sparks burn, the more your ego creeps back in.

And this is my main point, No one would be jealous of someone they truly love.

Sure, you might not be happy if your partner gets a job offer that means moving across the country, but that’s not jealousy, that’s insecurity. That’s you worried about what it means for your relationship.

Where there is jealousy, there is no love.

[Author]

Posts