[Anonymous]

Hi I will call my self Mr. X

I have been with this girl (ms. y) for almost a year. Our university is march 8th which is right around the corner from vday. We go to different schools and on average see each other about once every 2 and a half weeks. We have had issues in the past about various things, one in particular is partying. I feel like she values that more than me and she says that im controlling for telling her to not go out as much (like when she was single) and that shes young and she doesn’t have forever to party. About three weeks ago we planned to see each other and she was suppose to come down to my school. But last min her friend reminded her of this party and she said that she really wants to go and she could see me next week or the next day maybe and I was so hurt by this. So i had to compromise and come down there to see her and go to some party I didn’t want to go to because I’m to old for that. So now i want to celebrate our 1 years anniversary and vday together. However we can’t do it on the acutal vday weekend because I have to work. So i suggested the next weekend but thats the weekend us this “big party” the same thing she said three weeks ago, and that she can’t miss it because its something that she wants to do. I asked well don’t you want to see me and celebrate and she said yea but only one day and asked me why i can’t understand that stuff comes up. I replied yes i do but a party isn’t stuff. She claims she loves me so much but im making this hard, I told her that I was going to make this a weekend she would never forget but she still wants to only come for one day and go to the party the next. I don’t feel loved at all, I feel like she wants to be with me on “her time” and that she takes me for granted. I don’t know what to do. I told her if she only came for a night I wouldn’t do the things I had planned because she was being difficult and can’t stay the weekend. What should i do…..? please help, I love this girl more than anything, I want to marry her but I can’t take the hurt anymore. Am i wrong or is she? Should I move on?

Thank you

[Anonymous]

I think it’s pretty obvious that you’re dealing with a young, immature party girl: the opposite of marriage material. Her priority in life right now is to party and act stupid, not you, not marriage and not your relationship. She isn’t taking you seriously or putting you first and she isn’t ready for a real, committed relationship. While she’s out drinking, grinding on random dudes’ bajoings, and fist pumping, you’re sitting around in your room thinking about your wedding cake. Do you see how ridiculous that is? You sound young and naive and soon you will realize, either now or the hard way later, that marriage is the very least you should be thinking about, and that this girl is not even worth your time. There are so many nice, sweet, attentive, relationship-ready women out here looking for committed men to love them, and you guys stay breathing up the necks of obnoxious party chicks.

Answer: Stop it.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Why would you stay with a woman who makes you feel unloved and taken for granted? 😳 Or worse, why would you fantasize a wedding with a woman who makes you feel unloved and taken for granted? 😕

While she is committed to her lifestyle, the truth is, you’re just as committed to yours. You want to keep your work schedule as sacred and your life plan as sacred — even when a change is necessary.

Compromise is part of any relationship, but if you feel like you’re doing too much of it (which comes through loud and clear in your post), then you have to accept the fact that you’re not compatible. 🙁

I know you’re wedded to your plans, but my advice is that you either loosen up and love this girl for who she is, or accept that she’ll never be who you want her to be and it’s time for you to move on. The choice is yours and I hope you’ll make it. 😀

Let me know how things go — and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

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