[Lonely108]

Ok so I have never done anything like this…go easy on me. 😉 Well I am a 22 year old female about to graduate from college. I have never had a boyfriend! 🙁 It’s not that Im unattractive because I have had plenty of admirers and dated people. I have also been in sexual relationships. Now when I was younger in junior high I had a few boyfriends(I don’t count them)….after high school I “talked” or dated a boy that I had very strong feelings for. Everyone refered to us as a couple but we never made it official. The reason was because I was soon going away to school and neither one of us wanted to do the long distance thing. Well eventually I got over him and talked to other men. Someway or another we always fizzled out….Now I am back home and live in a small state. Most of the men here are not checking for me. 😯 There could be many factors that play into this: 1.) A lot of guys around here prefer one type of woman (physically) that I do not fit into. 🙄 2.) I have been told from various people that I seem hard to approach at times. Now the guys that are checking for me are usually the ones that I define as lame. 😆 When I say lame I mean they either are lacking swagger(confidence) or are unattrative or don’t have much going for themselves. I know that I am picky but should I lower my standards just to experience love? Another problem that I have recently developed is getting “shy” around men that I find attractive and who begin flirting with me. 😳 I think because I have been alone for so long I don’t know how to flirt anymore and find myself somewhat uncomfortable in those situations. My friends say that I am too picky and don’t go to places where I could meet single attractive men. 😕 What do you say?

[malia2003]

I guess you read my topic before. I am in the same situation as you. I am thinking of whether its best to lower my standards to actually feel love. As explained on here before, I have been compared to Daniel Craig(bond Star), Frank Lampard (famous soccer player in England where I live all the girls love himn) but still I cannot find a girlfriend. My last proper girlfriend was 8 years ago. Im not sure whether you should lower your standards just to feel love as im sure you wont be happy with the person in the long run and the other person will get hurt, although I have thought about this many times. I think April has some great advice so lets see what she has to say first? I do sympathise with you though as I am in the same boat as you.

[serendipidous55]

Good news! Seems like you have elements to your life under control and congrats on being picking!! Intelligence, character, personality, nice looks, humor …. all will make you stand out form the crowd and possibly intimidate some men who don’t have their life as intact. So what would I do? Definitely not lower my standards but rather increase yuor exposure to MR Right. I suggest writing a GREAT profile and get great pics and go on line at a dating site. Now the key is to be specific as to what characteristics in a mn you are looking for. There is a needle in the haystack a nd online dating actually facilitates finding those needles!

Go for the GOLD! Swing to hit it out of the ball park! Do not, DO not retreat to the bleachers !!!!

[cara]

I am also in the same boat as you, and a lot of people it seems. Why is it so hard to find that “special someone” these days?
Regarding what your friends say about you being picky, I have been told I am too picky also. Why should we lower our standards because other people tell us to do so? Are there really certain places to go where there are single, attractive guys? If so, please tell me these places. I don’t believe you can expect to go to a certain bar/club and all the guys will be attractive. We won’t find someone if we look too hard.
Don’t give up, and I won’t either. It doesn’t matter who you are, it is difficult to find someone special. I am physically fit, and I exercise at the gym regularly, and I have difficulty meeting guys also. It is just a strange era. Good luck!

[sathyan]

The reason is so simple that you have to go to places where you could find attractive men and also i have to say you one thing that dont consider yourself inferior and you are great at what you are and so be confident and approcah others and you will still not feel alone.
—
sathyan

[url=https://adult.talkingdating.com]Online Dating[/url]

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you.

[Natalie Noah]

There is nothing “wrong” with you for not having had a boyfriend yet. At 22, you’re not behind, broken, or missing something essential. you’re simply someone who hasn’t met the right fit in the right moment. You’ve dated, you’ve been desired, you’ve explored intimacy, and that already tells me you’re capable of connection. What’s happening here isn’t a lack of opportunity, but a mismatch between who you are and what’s available around you. Being in a small place with limited options can make it feel personal, when in reality, it’s just circumstantial.

About your standards please hear this gently lowering them just to “experience love” is rarely a kindness to yourself or the other person. Love built on settling usually turns into frustration, resentment, or guilt. It’s okay to want confidence, ambition, attraction, and emotional presence in a partner. What is worth examining isn’t your standards, but how accessible you feel. If people perceive you as hard to approach, that doesn’t mean you should change who you are it means softening the edges just enough to invite conversation. Shyness around men you like is completely human, especially when you haven’t practiced flirting in a while. Flirting isn’t a performance; it’s curiosity, warmth, and letting yourself be seen a little at a time.

I think your friends are half-right in the least judgmental way possible. You don’t need to go hunting for love, but you do need to place yourself where your kind of people naturally are intellectually, socially, creatively. That might be through hobbies, travel, networking, or even online spaces where values and goals are clearer. Don’t give up, and don’t retreat inward either. Love doesn’t arrive when we shrink ourselves; it arrives when we stay open, confident in our worth, and willing to meet the world halfway. You’re not late, you’re just still on your way.

[Member]

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