[Anonymous]

I am in a fantastic relationship with the guy of my dreams. We are in love. At least it seems that way.
We began dating almost a year and a half ago. Everything was perfect, we were both happy and he treated me amazing (unlike past relationships). I felt something for him that I have never felt in my life. After about 7 months together I decided to tell him I was in love with him. His response was not what I was expecting. He told me he has really strong feelings for me and that he was not ready to say it back. He assured me that everything was fine with us, he just wanted to wait and see where things went with us. I was quite embarrassed but got over it. Things got back to normal immediately; we were the same as we were before. Actually we went on a 5 day cruise together and everything seemed amazing.
Around our 8 month anniversary, he broke up with me. He said the reason was because he had career goals that he could not have a girlfriend with. I knew about these career goals but it seemed very sudden that he was ready to move and leave me. He said that he felt our relationship was starting to take steps and he felt that if he did this now it would not be as bad as when he leaves for good. Needless to say I was devastated. I know he was too, but he is stubborn and stuck with what he felt was right and hurt less.
We didn’t speak for about 6 weeks (though it seemed like forever). The only way for me to stop thinking about him was to try my hardest to erase him from my life. It seemed he was doing the same thing.
Eventually he got back in touch with me. He claimed he needed me back in his life, but there was a catch he was still planning on moving. After starting to spend time with him more and more we were back together. I knew he was going to leave me sometime but I couldn’t tear myself away. I had that feeling again, and it was obvious he had it too.
Now we are back in a relationship and a serious one at that. Things are moving at a steady pace and we seem to be happier than ever. To confirm this we decided to move in together. I am so excited that we are starting a new chapter in our relationship, however there is one thing bothering me. He still has not told me he loves me. I refuse to say it because of my mistake in the past. I know we are in love so saying it out loud seems trivial. However there is that little part of me that hurts because he will not express his feelings to me. Should I be concerned? Should I step up and say it? It is very hard for me to not scream it out, but I’m scared to hear his response. Please help.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It really sounds like he’s holding something back. He broke up with you right after your eight month anniversary because of his “career goals” and then he got back together with you and wants to move in with you, but has never said he loves you. 😕 What happened to those career goals that were the alleged reason for his break up with you? I think that before you even CONSIDER moving in with him, you get that issue straightened out. It would be a real shame if you moved in together and then he broke up with you for the same reason as last time, only now, you’ll have invested even more time in the relationship and you’ll have to navigate moving out. Unless, of course, the “career goals” were not the real reason he broke up with you, and instead, they were just an excuse so he didn’t have to tell you what was really going on in his head.

In addition, it’s odd that he’s NEVER said he loves you — and you’re considering moving in with him. Saying those three little words marks a step in the relationship that comes BEFORE moving in together.

So my advice is to wait to move in together. I know you love him and you’re excited at any step that you feel moves the relationship forward, but date smart! Don’t paint yourself into a corner by moving in with someone who doesn’t love you and can’t say it. Slow down, and make sure he’s worth investing in.

I hope that helps. Let me know how it goes….and follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter, and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Member]

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