[sweetpea37]

I recently sent the man I have been involved with for 6 yrs an email telling him that I could no longer keep playing his games(disappearing acts etc..)and that when he wanted to be with a real woman that cared about him and didn’t play games, that after he figured his life out he could look me back up.

When he responded two days later, he told me that he had been preoccupied with his father just having a stroke.

He closed out the email with “I’ll be in touch, can’t say when”….
“Go on with your life, We will always have what we had”….

Now from what other people have told me they feel that apart from him telling me of what happened with his father, that how he ended the email was directly related to the stress he’s expeiencing right now.

They also said that if this man really wanted things to end with us he would NEVER had said I’ll be in touch,

He would tell me he would be returning my house keys and coming to get his clothes none of which he even said.

What does anybody else think? Do you believe that after the smoke clears surrounding his situation that he’ll contact me again or should I just forget about all of this and actually move on with my life as though I never had anything with this man to begin with?

Please help I am so confused.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He’s going to continue to play disappearing games with you. 😳 The proof is in his past. For six years he’s shown you who he is, and there’s no reason to believe he’s changed. The question is, how long will you allow yourself to be part of a relationship that is wasting your time committed to Mr. Wrong? 😕

If a man wants to be in a relationship with you, he’ll behave as such. Your guy is taking advantage of you and you’re going along with the dynamic instead of looking for Mr. Right. If you want to find a man who wants you, respects you and shares his life with you, read Think & Date Like A Man, so you can stop wasting your time wondering if a man who keeps disappearing will change his behavior. He won’t.

I hope that helps. Please join me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a huge manipulation. Basically, he’s spent the last 6 years treating you like second-rate trash and when you finally decide you are worth a little more than last night’s empty chinese takeout container, he tries to make you feel like something worse than garbage for your insensitivity.

The fact is, if you were important in his life, you would have been the person he called the minute he found out his father had the stroke, because if you were important to him, he’d have wanted to have your love and support to get him through the time. At the very least, he would have let you know that he would be MIA for a bit as a result of what was happening. That’s what adults who care about each other do.

It’s pretty obvious this guy doesn’t care for you one bit.

Who knows if his story is true or not, but either way, you did the right thing and I hope you aren’t packing your bags for the guilt trip he has tried to put you on. Walk away from this emotionally unavailable game player, and do yourself a favour… change your number/email/life and keep him out of it. Unless this guy is in his early 20’s or younger, he’s too old to be given any more chances for change and offering that just leaves the window open for the next time he’s lonely, but not looking for a mature and respectful relationship.

Move on and soon enough you’ll see how destructive this self-absorbed loser has been on your psyche. You’ll wonder why you were ever confused or stayed so long!

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a huge manipulation. Basically, he’s spent the last 6 years treating you like second-rate trash and when you finally decide you are worth a little more than last night’s empty chinese takeout container, he tries to make you feel like something worse than garbage for your insensitivity.

The fact is, if you were important in his life, you would have been the person he called the minute he found out his father had the stroke, because if you were important to him, he’d have wanted to have your love and support to get him through the time. At the very least, he would have let you know that he would be MIA for a bit as a result of what was happening. That’s what adults who care about each other do.

It’s pretty obvious this guy doesn’t care for you one bit.

Who knows if his story is true or not, but either way, you did the right thing and I hope you aren’t packing your bags for the guilt trip he has tried to put you on. Walk away from this emotionally unavailable game player, and do yourself a favour… change your number/email/life and keep him out of it. Unless this guy is in his early 20’s or younger, he’s too old to be given any more chances for change and offering that just leaves the window open for the next time he’s lonely, but not looking for a mature and respectful relationship.

Move on and soon enough you’ll see how destructive this self-absorbed loser has been on your psyche. You’ll wonder why you were ever confused or stayed so long!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[b]Datedish[/b] put it ever so bluntly 😆 but truthfully! This guy isn’t treating you the way I hope you’d want to be treated — and more importantly, expect to be treated.

I think you’re grasping at straws when you reference his saying that he’ll be in touch. I know you want him to be kind and caring, but when he wrote, “We’ll always have had what we had,” he’s telling you it’s over. He’ll be in touch again just like always, but when he is, I hope you’ll have a different outlook on life and be ready to only allow people who are respectful, loyal and healthy into your life. This guy isn’t a supporter of yours — and as [b]Datedish[/b] aptly remarked, if he felt close to you after dating for six years (or six minutes), he would have speed dialed you the minute his father had a stroke. He would have looked to you for comfort, guidance, and if nothing else, he would have wanted you to know what was happening in his life because you were important. Sadly, you’re not his first or second tier of friends (let alone girlfriends).

You can do much better for yourself. Read Think & Date LIke A Man (I know I sound like a broken record sometimes, but the books is really really good for people who want to adjust their dating behavior for the better.) [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. It’s also on sale for $8.99. Treat yourself!

I hope that helps — and that you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[sweetpea37]

April,

So what you are saying is that not only did this man use me for his own selfish reasons BUT is also using MANIPULATION as a way to CONTROL the situation and keep it on HIS terms.

So basically it’s either I agree with things on HIS terms or as he so bluntly put it I can go on with my lfe.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Right.

[Member]

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