[Megishere]

No, he paid for the drinks and appetizer. He did ask me if I wanted an ice cream when I arrived, and I declined, as I had told him earlier in the day I wasn’t into it.

I get what you’re saying – the fact that even staying showed him I devalued myself. Agreed. 🙁

Again, not an excuse, just an explanation, but I always dump guys. Always but always. And because I do, I really do question when I dumping a legitimate jerk, or someone who could have been a good guy but I’m knee-jerking. Yes, my gut was telling me to walk after the way he was when I showed up, but then the other side that always blows guys off was saying, “give him a chance, girl. You are not without issues yourself, so give him a third strike.”

What was perplexing, is that after his inital comments, he was pleasant and nice. Even the days since our date, he was never mean nor inappropriate. I could easily have dismissed it as nerves and therefore him being a jerk without realizing it. I don’t know.

I don’t want to make excuses for him, no, and I deleted all his info on Sunday night, so it’s not like I am considering him an option. I was just looking for an opinion on it all.

Thanks, again. You’ve been very helpful. 🙂

[Megishere]

OK, thanks, April!

I’m trying to understand your answer.

First off, I never chased him, as I never initiated a shred of contact. I only responded when he contacted me, except for the last time, when he asked me to return his call, and I didn’t call him back at all. I actually never pursue men. Period.

As for staying on the date – totally guilty as charged and in retrospect, I should have left. BUT, in my defense, I stood up and told him I was leaving, and then he became decent. I’ve had a long history of blowing guys off too soon, so I didn’t want to do the same thing, even though I thought he was being a total jerk and yes, I wondered if he was testing me.
‘
So, what you’re saying is that you don’t think he liked me at all (romantically), spent 5 hours with me, continued to call me and text me but still didn’t like me, except to consider me a friend. I guess what I don’t get, is why he would bother to contact me so much if he wasn’t interested in dating me. I don’t know anyone who would put this much effort into a new “buddy”.

I don’t think I’m ultimately missing out on anything here, but all rejection hurts, and I don’t have a lot of experience with it. I’m also a bit disappointed because on paper, he was everything I’d look for.

I will also say that he told me the last 5 dates he had before me he also “friendzoned”.

I’ll pick up the book. Thanks so much for the quick and honest reply. 🙂

[Megishere]

Ouch. 🙁

Sounds like she was always hoping they’d get back together.

I’d be pretty upset too, but, I also wouldn’t have accepted being put in the closet all those years.

If you live with her and her kids presently though, why can you not be a comfort to them? Doesn’t her family know about you?

[Author]

Posts