Hi: Choosing to be with someone at a young age causes a person to miss out on so much. I’ve seen this happen with my brother. He started dating this girl when he was 18, she got pregnant and they got marriend when he was 20 and she was 19. They now have three kids. She tells him oneday, I don’t want to be in this relationship any longer… I need time to find myself, she’s hooked up with this really dysfunctional man–drug user, aggressive, and abusive in his past relationships; and he’s demonstrated this type of behavior with her on a few instances. She has given up connections with family, is ignoring her friends, and is even willing to give her kids up to the husband with no hesitation. I guess the moral of this story “If you don’t know who you are seperate from your partner, you’ll come to the same crossroad in any other relationship you pursue. You have to experience things like travelling alone, or going on a cruise with a bunch of your girlfriends; you need to look inside of yourself and create goals, outline things that you’d like to do before you get married… you need to celebrate YOU!” I’m forty… I’ve had a wonderful career, I have participated in treasure hunts where I’ve had to steal lawn ornaments, approach truckers for signatures, take a picture of a friend in the nude, I’ve used a sling-shot to shoot bubble gum balls at garage doors–lol, I’ve traveled with friends to theme parks and went on trips with the girls; I stated working on my personal issues when I was 20–counselling, treatment, therapy, personal training… I am really comfortable with who I am. I got married 8 years ago thinking I would have the perfect relationship… it was great for 4 years. Today, I find my relationship is empty because I’ve grown beyond my husband; and he can’t meet my emotional and spiritual needs… I understand where you are coming from; because at 40 I am there too. Make choices that are best for you and good luck.
