[SomethingSomething]

Let me answer my own question… We are definitely “more” – since last night…

I’ve spent the last weekend with my best friend (the guy that introduced us) and his gf – we went to his parents’ countryside house. My bf (I’m not the one using the word first) couldn’t come because it was his weekend with his kids, so for the first time since we met we hadn’t seen each other for 2 and a half days. Of course, that doesn’t mean that we severed any contact – we were texting and talking most of the day and night…

So, when I returned, he kept repeating how much he missed me… And the rest is history…

Now, I don’t want to be clingy or anything, so I try not to initiate, but I’m kinda afraid that i might appear “too cold”. How can I find middle ground? And does it exist anyway?

[SomethingSomething]

Now, here’s another one…

The other day, he was driving me home from work and he said he’s got something for me and he would really like me to accept it. So, he took a wrist watch from his pocket and placed it on my wrist. (In this modern day and age, I generally don’t wear wrist watch – I use my cell phone to see the time).

So, not being much of a watches connoisseur, I’ve looked it up on web… This thing costs like 1/4 of my car!!! And I don’t drive an old beater, to say the least…

Tonight, we were at our regular club and were talking about a girl I’m training to work with me. He said something like “When you finish training her, she can take over Thursdays and Fridays, and the two of us can go out of town and relax somewhere nice!”

OK, he knows how busy is my life, and that sometimes I have to work weekends… Tonight, he even said he wants to (re)start his undergrad studies…

As a friend said “You two spend 24/7 together – kissing, sleeping together or just holding hands and chatting – you spend more quality time together than any ‘serious’ couple I know”.

Am I to wait for him to get his diploma for him to be “equal” (in his eyes)?!?!

[SomethingSomething]

Let me tell you my best friend’s story… (Let’s call her M)

So, M met G when she was 18 and he pursued her, but she simply didn’t like him. However, after a breakup with her boyfriend at the time, M and G started dating. He would fly her to the Moon and back, and they got married and had a kid. And then his true face surfaced – using drugs (cocaine), drinking, beating her up… It took her almost a year to pack up and move back with her parents.

Then, the hell broke loose. He was denying her divorce, coming over and terrorizing the entire family – even her younger sister, who was pregnant at the time. I lost count of texts from M, begging me to come with someone or police to send him away. So one night, I was hanging with my male crowd at my place, and my dear friend D and I went “to the rescue”.

One thing led to another, and M and D fell in love. He had managed to protect her against G, took care of her son, treated her like a queen (for instance, even if two of them would be hanging out at his place, he would pick her up and drop her off at her doorstep). I was so happy – in fact, the entire crowd was certain that it would be “happily ever after” thing. D is also divorced, with one kid. G got remarried and had a child with second wife, so it seemed he was out of the picture.

Then, things take 180 degree turn – M breaks up with D after 4-year relationship and starts seeing G again. G is pushing, bringing her gifts and stuff, saying that he had changed. Meanwhile, he’s still using and drinking – and denying. D was devastated – to the point that we had set up kind of a “suicide watch” for him for some 2-3 weeks. I talked to M and her parents. They hated the idea of her being back with G and begged me to do something, so I tried.

At this point, I haven’t seen or heard from M for more than a month, after some heavy duty names-calling from her. She doesn’t accept my calls, nor would talk to me if I visit her home/office. I saw her the other day from my car with black eye. I’ve talked to her mother – there’s nothing they can do. She keeps saying “He’s the father of my child and I belong with him!”

As for D, he’s good now. Great, even! Yes, there were some rough times, but he’s back to his old self now. He’s going out, having fun and meeting new ladies. He’s a bit more cautious now about opening up, but I’m sure he’ll find a lady that will be just right for him.

Yes, I saw that big guy cry like a baby, holding a heart-shaped cushion he gotten from M, with a bottle of Whiskey next to him. Me and another friend had spent 3 hours trying to make him finish a rather small sandwich – something that he wouldn’t consider even a snack otherwise. He lost some 15-20 pounds in a month and looked like a pale shadow of what he once was.

But got back in the saddle. And so will you 🙂

[SomethingSomething]

Dear April, thanks for a very quick response 😀

First of all, I’m not going to rush into another “living together” situation. At the moment, I’m fine with the things the way they are. Both my previous relationships were kinda rushed into being serious, and now “taking things very VERY slow” agrees with me. I’m not one of those believing that a girl should get married at a certain age because “it’s the right thing to do”.

Second, I really enjoy all the attention and everything and I’m kinda questioning myself – am I liking the guy or the things that he does for me? Am I using him? Am I doing something to push him away with my attitude or anything?

And finally, the main reason I’ve asked the question is that many people are asking me if we are together, saying that we look like a couple in public and that he’s really into me. So I’ve opted for “independent expert’s opinion” 🙂

[Member]

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