[kikibrown22]

You already know the answer. You need to drop this guy for good. I don’t really believe in second chances, especially when it comes to cheating. Either way, this guy has had two and he’ll keep cheating on you if you keep taking him back and forgiving him. You deserve better than this.

[kikibrown22]

What was he freaked out by? It’s hard to hear, and kind of scary to find out that someone you know has been abused. He probably doesn’t know what to say or how to relate. Doesn’t sound like this would cause things to end between you, he just needs time to come to digest all of this information.

[kikibrown22]

Strange…why didn’t he like being called your “date”? He could be calling you this to be playful, but it sounds like he’s having issues with being in a committed relationship.

[kikibrown22]

I’m afraid the only way to know for sure if she likes you is to ask her directly. I know how scary it can be, but which is worse: the embarrassment of rejection, or the anguish of never knowing?

You also need to watch how you set yourself up. While I’m sure this girl is amazing, perfection doesn’t exist and the more you put her on a pedestal, the more intimidated you will be. Ask her if she wants to grab a coffee sometime – it’s casual and will give you your answer either way.

[kikibrown22]

Doesn’t sound to me like you’re really that into this guy and that you’re looking for reasons to end things. That aside, you need to decide whether it’s worth getting involved with this guy. You need to sit down with your friends and ask them how they feel about the situation, because if things don’t work out with this guy, it could become awkward for all of you. On top of that, you need to make sure you’re making as much time for your friends as you are for this new guy. It sucks going from being good friends with someone, then getting cast aside as soon as some guy comes into the picture, to finally having to be there for her when things don’t work out with him and she’s lonely. Don’t take your friends for granted. If you’re serious about this guy, then explain that to them, and figure out a way to make things work.

[kikibrown22]

How long ago did each of these events occur? If they’ve both been pretty recent then it might be him giving you the brush-off. Life can get in the way sometimes too, so you need to be understanding.

[kikibrown22]

Hmm…sounds to me like this girl only wants what she can’t have. She also seems to like keeping guys around who are still interested in her, which means she probably likes the attention. The good thing is that she’s been clear with you about her feelings (or lack thereof).

So the way I see it, you have two choices. Either accept that she does not have feelings for you and will flirt and date other guys, or stop being her friend if you can’t handle the idea of her dating anyone else. Why would you want to date someone who didn’t like you? There are thousands of girls out there, so why waste your time dwelling on a lost cause? I guess there is a third option, which is to take a break from her (or at least spend less time together) until your feelings have died down. The best way to move on from someone is to focus your attention and energy somewhere else. Meet other girls or take up a hobby. Put your energy to good use and focus on making yourself happy.

[kikibrown22]

Well for starters, sex changes things. In most cases it can bring two people closer together, but you need to have a solid base first.

Secondly, I would say that you shouldn’t expect sex to be “perfect” your first time. Things almost always go wrong (even with experienced people). She will probably be just as nervous and self-conscious as you are, and will probably be more worried about her own performance than yours. I don’t think there is any secret to having good sex. The key is communication. Everyone likes different things, so the trick is learning what those things are. Pay attention to her body language with every touch and movement and encourage her to tell you what she likes. Assuming she knows you’re a virgin, she will probably be quite understanding throughout the process and will offer you guidance as you go along.

As for the size issue, I wouldn’t worry about it. The media builds it up to be a huge deal, but most girls I know prefer average size because it’s easier to work with. Too big can just be uncomfortable, and they say girls can only feel the first few inches anyway. It’s all about how you use it, and as long as you’re looking to please her, you shouldn’t have any issues. Remember, it’s a learning process so try different things and see what works. You’ll find your groove in no time.

[kikibrown22]

What is it that you’re afraid of?

I used to have bad social anxiety (mostly I would turn beet red whenever I was nervous or uncomfortable) and the more it happened, the more I lived in fear of it happening. I worried about what other people thought of me and that they were judging me. Over time I just began to accept that it would happen and that I couldn’t avoid these situations forever, so little by little I struggled through them. Now I’ve grown comfortable striking up conversation with just about anyone and everyone, though public speaking still intimidates me a bit.

I’m one of the few people I know that doesn’t get nervous over first dates. The reason for this is that I ask myself “what have I got to lose?” Half the battle is actually getting the date (which you don’t seem to have a problem with) and this means that the other person is already interested in you to start with. Most of the time it’s a guy I’ve just met and haven’t invested much time emotionally yet. Best case scenario, we hit it off; worst case scenario, we don’t connect or something hugely embarrassing happens, but either way I’ll have gotten out of the house for and evening and I’ll have a funny story to tell.

[kikibrown22]

Seems to me that by telling you that he’s still with this girl and that it’s okay for you to date other people, that he’s trying to cover his own butt. Looks like he wants to keep both of you around, and this way he doesn’t feel guilty because you know about the other girl and he’s not pushing for exclusivity. I think a guy that was truly into you wouldn’t want you to be dating other guys, but that’s just me. I’ve had guys ask me to be the other girl, tell me they were on the ‘outs’ with their gf or that the relationship is rocky, that they’re on a break, etc. They’ll say whatever they think will get them what they want. If he’s seriously into you, then he’ll end things with this girl. Until then I wouldn’t get involved.

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