[Sarajuana]

You make it sound like it’s ok for a man to check out women, but not vice versa. Just because I love sex and I think women are attractive does not mean I can’t be faithful to one man. I am very good to him, and I believe he has worked through that jealousy. Also, I don’t check out other people when I’m with my man, and I certainly don’t act on any impulses when I’m not with him. I understand if he sees a nice looking female and maybe does a double take. If her were to approach her, talk about her constantly, or do it all the time when I’m around then we would have issues. You can’t tell me that you would not check out a nice looking female if you are away from your woman. This is a completely normal human reaction, and some people choose to cross the line(hitting on them), some don’t. Sounds like you have some serious insecurities and perhaps should date a woman that is not interested in sex at all. Maybe then you wouldn’t worry so much.

[Sarajuana]

This is interesting to me, because I personally am very attracted to women. I sometimes feel like a sex-hungry man practically breaking my neck to check out a nice female’s behind. I have never been with a woman, besides making out with one or two, but have always wanted to try. I guess I’d consider myself “bi-curious.” With that said, I know that I prefer men and am very much in love with my boyfriend of over a year. Your post attracted me, because I was always open with him about how I thought certain women were hot, and he always seemed to be a bit insecure about it. We even got into an argument once about me spending the night at my best friends house, because she is a bit of a firecracker when she is drinking. He thought she would persuade me to have sex with her.

Honestly, I believe this is just an insecurity on your part. If you like this woman enough, then you need to learn to trust that what she is telling you is true. I think it took my boyfriend quite awhile to finally say, ‘hey, she is with me and I love her so we can go from there.’ Worrying about it is understandable, but if it’s something you think you will worry about constantly then it’s probably time to move on, and stop wasting her time and yours like April says. It’s not fair to both of you. I finally had to tell my boyfriend that I would not stop seeing my best friend, whom I’ve known much longer than him, just because he is worried about something so silly. I am an honest person, and when I tell him I will be faithful, I mean it. Hopefully your girl is honest, too, and if you have doubts then you should decide how long you want to live with those doubts.

[Sarajuana]

I think you just need to talk to her, period. I think the most gentle way of going about it would be to sit down with her and tell her how much she means to you, BUT being physically intimate is something very important to you. Let her know you do enjoy when you have sex, you just wish it were a bit more often. She may not realize how important it is to you, and if you bring it to her attention then she will think about it more often. Maybe ask her what kind of things turn her on, and explore those things more often. I’m having issues with my boyfriend not being as intimate as I’d like him to be, and I have tried talking to him about it. We are about to have a baby, so I think he’s going through some things that maybe I don’t understand. But either way, it is affecting our relationship. I feel for ya, and the first thing you should always do is discuss it openly and honestly and then go from there. I’m no expert, but I hope it helps. Good luck to you!

[Sarajuana]

Thanks for the reply, but I have tried to talk to him about it. It never amounts to anything, that’s why I’m here.

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