[AnnaKanes]

Hi April!

Thanks for your reply 🙂

I understand where you’re coming from.

But if the guy persists that he wants to change for the better and wants to exclusively be into one gender, how can we determine that?

[AnnaKanes]

Hi April!

Writing it again here! 🙂

Anyway, I have a situation here with my friend.
She used to date a gay guy but they didn’t last for so long aft she got to know the guy was gay.
So after a few years, she met this new guy. And as they got to know each other and went on dates, the guy that she’s currently dating used to date her ex.
But this new guy is fond of her and is not into guys anymore as he still foresees himself settling down with a woman and have a family.

So the question here is: Is it advisable for them to pursue the relationship further despite both used to date the same person?

Hope to hear from you soon April! 🙂

[AnnaKanes]

Thank you for the advices and the directions, April!

I really understand how things goes now and I’ll try my very best to gain more experiences in the dating culture as well as making the right choices.
I thought I did with him but after the confession recently, it was just a whole different view on things already.

At the moment, i’ll try my very best to recover!

Thanks April, may God bless ya always and if there’s any help I need, I’ll drop you a question! 🙂

[AnnaKanes]

Hi April,

I am seeing things altogether now. Understand where you coming from too.
But he has a tendency of coming back to me after some time of being apart. What if he does again?
What can I do? See whether he’s changed?

I did told him that he has to change for the better of course for the sake of his future too but then again, as you mentioned, addiction is just as it is.
He needs to seek help to understand that part of him and it’s gonna bring him harm someday. Surprisingly April, we both have not had any sexual intercourse for the past 2 years. He knows I won’t give it to him so easily so he didn’t ask. I’m thankful for that part of me though for not giving in to desires so easily.

On another note, I’m always scared to try and date again after different experiences that had happened 🙁

[AnnaKanes]

Hi April,

We’re both 21 and we met when we were in tertiary institution but he was in senior year while I was in junior year. And that point of time we were about 18 coming to 19 years old. We were both in the same field of study. We met through a gathering with our course mates so that’s when he got to know me. I really didn’t see it coming with him though back then. But he was sincere and all in wanting to be in a relationship with me. Oh, I forgot to tell you. He did mentioned to me he did see a future with me. He said I’m the only one he sees to be his wife. And he said he know no other girl will be able to accept him. He also mentioned he hates the idea of having sex addiction. He wants to love me as how a gentleman would to his woman. I don’t know if he’s being delusional but I told him it’s kinda to early to say that. And yes, I do want a monogamous relationship and I thought I see it with him.

I’ve trusted him all these years even when he sometimes lie to me etc. I feel kinda stupid though after thinking about it. But I don’t know why, I always see the goodness in him and it doesn’t make me judge him even after his confession. I don’t like to doubt people. I believe no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. And I did told him no good soul who doesn’t have a bad past and not a bad soul who will not have a future.

But for the past month of us not talking, it didn’t really bother me that much until he wished me for my birthday. I don’t know, probably cause I still do miss him but I just shove it deep down in me to not acknowledge that fact. 😉

But I just wanna know if him being all quiet is by telling me that I should you know, not bother him at all or something. He still haven’t bring down our pictures and he still does follow me on the social media. I know he stalks my news feed and try to get to know from my friends if i’m ok and all.

Thanks for being such a great help, April. i’m glad I found the right person to talk to about this! 😀

[AnnaKanes]

Hi April,

Thanks for giving me an advice which makes me see things from a different perspective!
I think all this while I didn’t adjust my expectations due to me not knowing he actually has an addiction. and after you mentioned it, it did struck me 🙂
But at the moment, what should I do?
Just leave him alone till he comes back and in the meantime, I’ll just focus on myself?
Do you feel I’m overthinking on this? Do you think I have pushed him away or something?

I do still want us to keep in touch. Even if it is casual. But at the same time, I feel I should give him all the time and space he needs.
I did recently drop him a casual text just to ask how is he and all. But he ignored the message.

And I’m more than happy to hear more advices from you. I’ve never been in a relationship besides him so I don’t have kind of much experience on what is right or wrong.

Thanks April!

Hope to hear from you soon again! 😎

[Author]

Posts