[AlkArl]

[quote]I feel like I don’t know what I want from life yet and that at 21 years old its a really hard thing to decide. I am really so afraid of making a mistake by not having him anymore because I know he is an incredible man. What if I’m not sure what I want to do?[/quote][quote]Life is all about making decisions, and we all try to make good ones, and we do the best we can, and still, sometimes we make mistakes. It sounds like he’s deciding whether or not to visit you in a few months, so the two of you can have your first date — but you, too, have a decision to make, and a responsibility to make it. 😉 [/quote][quote]is to visit you, and see if you’ll date him when he’s there — knowing that you may not. He can see how things go when he’s there. But I don’t think he should put all of his eggs in one basket, or rush into monogamy — because your indecision indicates an uncertainty about a future with him. [/quote]

He does not want to come visit me on a maybe on marriage. He wants me to be absolutely certain before he see’s me. I understand his unwillingness because he lives so far away and he is not wealthy. Also when he comes he will be required to spend at least 6 months here, in a country he does not know. Yet I feel like its impossible to make a decision until I meet him…what do you think?

[quote]I cannot even think of dating, because my original purpose was to wait until I graduated college. [/quote][quote] If you can’t think of dating, then let him know you’re too young and you’re not ready. There’s plenty of time in life. [/quote]

Then it will be too late for us wont it? What if I recognize I made a mistake a year later, when I’m old enough and mature enough to make such a decision?

[AlkArl]

I feel like I don’t know what I want from life yet and that at 21 years old its a really hard thing to decide. I am really so afraid of making a mistake by not having him anymore because I know he is an incredible man. What if I’m not sure what I want to do?

He is also attached to his family and culture, but his family does not hate him for dating someone outside of it whereas mine will. I half want to stay and half want to go and my mind wont make up its mind, so to say. I don’t know what to do, and I’m lost. I’m breaking both of our hearts into tiny pieces with each day that passes. How do I deal with the issue of religion? How do I make a decision, because my mind wont do it. Do I just pull it out of a hat and go with it?

I cannot even think of dating, because my original purpose was to wait until I graduated college. Now, I cannot think of it because I can’t imagine another man will be as amazing as this one. Although I’ve never dated anyone in “real life” nor online before this, the marriages I see in my family are miserable with divorces in between it all. This guy and me fell in love over the past whole year without me having purposely thought it through.

Thank you for helping, it feels so good to hear another persons take on this situation especially when neither of us really have any mutual friends.

[AlkArl]

Also, what do we do if I (the girl) decide to break up? Do we just stop talking or can we pull away slowly or how does it work? I’ve never dated anyone else and have never gone through a break up. I am so alone in life, and no one knows I’ve dated him for a year. My family already hates that I have friends out of the religion much less a boyfriend. I rely a lot on our conversations to pull me through the day. 🙁

[AlkArl]

Hi! Thank you for your thought out response. Can you answer the rest of the questions? Thanks 🙂

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