[Sally]

You sound like the kind of woman who deserves something real. I’ve watched my mom go through this. She thought she was done with love, then met someone who adored her exactly as she is. You’re not too late. You’re just at the part where you know what actually matters. Maybe that’s when love finally sticks.

[Sally]

Girl, he likes you. Nobody mirrors your body language like that unless they’re tuned in. The hair thing sealed it. He’s probably just shy or worried you don’t feel the same. You don’t need to make a big move, just give him a little space to meet you halfway. Sit closer, let the tension build, and if he doesn’t flinch when you touch his arm, that’s your answer.

[Sally]

I’ve seen this before, and honestly, it’s hard to watch. You’re trying so hard to fix things that you’re forgetting how bad it feels to be talked to like that. Love isn’t supposed to make you question your worth every day. Yeah, you messed up, everyone lies sometimes, but being called names? That’s not okay. You can forgive yourself even if he doesn’t.

[Sally]

It’s easy to panic when something feels good, especially after getting hurt before. You didn’t ruin it, you just reacted from fear. Most of us have done that at least once. Right now, I’d give him some space. Let things cool off a bit. If he really liked you the way he said, he’ll think about it and maybe reach out again.

When he does, keep it simple. Don’t overexplain or beg for a redo. Just be honest that you got scared because it felt real. If it’s meant to move forward, it will. And if it doesn’t, that doesn’t mean you blew it. It just means you’re human and still learning how to trust again.

[Sally]

That would mess with anyone’s head. When someone like that suddenly shows up again after months of silence, it’s rarely about love or closure. It’s usually guilt, curiosity, or wanting to see if they still have a way back in. The fact that he was married and lied says a lot about how he handles problems.

You don’t owe him another conversation. If he really needed to talk, he’d have followed up. My guess is he wanted to stir things up, then backed off once you replied. Don’t give him that power again. Let him sit with his own mess. You already walked away once – keep walking.

[Sally]

I know it’s hard, but right now the best thing you can do is pull back a little. Let him show you what he wants through his actions, not just the moments that felt close. If he’s interested, he’ll reach out and make it clear. If he doesn’t, that silence is your answer.
Try not to fill in the blanks for him. You’ve already shown you care and that you’re open to more. Now it’s his turn. Focus on keeping your balance while you wait. Don’t put your life on pause for someone who might not be ready to meet you halfway.

[Sally]

Yeah, that kind of thing cuts deep. Especially when it feels like one small mistake is being used to rewrite the whole story. But when trust has already been shaky, even something innocent can look like proof of every old fear. She’s not really reacting to that text, she’s reacting to everything she’s been holding in.

You can’t talk someone out of that kind of hurt. You can only stay honest and calm, even if she won’t listen right now. If it’s real, she’ll come around once her emotions settle. If she doesn’t, you’ll have to let her go knowing you told the truth. Sometimes that’s all you can do.

[Sally]

When someone you love starts pulling back, it’s hard not to spiral. From what you said, it sounds like Joe’s drowning in his own stuff, work, stress, life, and that makes everything else feel heavier. I don’t think it’s really about the friend thing. Sometimes when people feel out of control in one part of life, they start questioning everything, even love.
You did the right thing giving him space. Let him sit with his own thoughts. If he wants to keep building something real, he’ll come back calmer. If he doesn’t, you’ll still be okay. You already know how to stand on your own. Just breathe through it for now.

[Sally]

I’ve been in that kind of almost-something before. It feels real because it is, just not always in the way we hope. You two connected when both your lives were coming apart, and that kind of timing can feel like fate. But sometimes it’s just two people holding on while things change. Try not to turn every moment into a sign. If it’s meant to be more, it’ll still be there when the dust settles. For now, be honest with yourself about what this really is, not what you wish it could be.

[Sally]

Yeah, I’ve been in that spot. There was this guy who said all the right things, talked about wanting a real relationship, but after a while it was just messages and no plans. I kept hoping he’d follow through, but deep down I knew if he really wanted to, he would have.

It hurts because that spark doesn’t go away right away. But I learned not to chase someone who only shows up halfway. You can still enjoy talking to him, just don’t hang your heart on it. Let him be a maybe while you stay open to someone who’s sure.

If he really wants to see you again, he’ll make it happen. And if not, you’ll already be moving on, and that ends up feeling a lot lighter.

[Sally]

Okay yeah, guys like that test the waters to see what they can get away with. Honestly, trust your gut. If it feels off, it is off.

[Sally]

If he keeps leaving, let him.

I know it hurts. I know your heart keeps hoping this time will be different. But real love doesn’t come with all this confusion.

Block him if you have to. You don’t owe him access to you just because he remembers you when he’s lonely.

[Sally]

Yeah, no. This would totally mess with my head too.

Like, how can he say he’s fully committed but still update his profile *last week*? That’s not forgetting. That’s not boredom. That’s making a choice. You don’t go in and pick new pictures by accident.

And I get it. It feels real when you’re with him. That’s the part that keeps you stuck. He’s doing just enough to make you stay, but not enough to make you feel safe.

You’re not being extra. Wanting someone to delete the app when they’re with you is not some huge ask. It’s basic respect.

I don’t know what Jake’s doing, but I do know this— if he really meant all those sweet things, the app would already be gone.

[Author]

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