[Cristi]

I’m in a very similar situation. Im 21 & have a semi serious relationship with a guy who is 23 & my parents & i have fought about it. He is a great guy however my parents dont think he is good enough for me. I have had to stand up for my boyfriend & I’s relationship many times! It has come to yelling and crying and all of that! I have not even thought about hiding my relationship but I know from her side of view that it is very hard to constantly hear negative things about your relationship with someone you care about. It would be SO much easier on me if I lied to my parents & hid him, however I dont want to lie about my relationship. What I did to help get them off my case was just told them “I appreciate your concern and I see where youre coming from however this is somebody i care for alot and I will not be ending it because you dont approve. I would rather just not talk about this with you both any more, i know how you feel and theres no reason for us to continue fighing.” I truely care about my family and it hurts me that they wont back me up but at some point you have to stand up for yourself. yet family is not something to ever push away. You might want to suggest her going about it that way. but she should know that hiding a relationship is going to create trust issues with her family and they will thing shes doing something wrong by hiding it. you should not feel badly about yourself, but do try to win her parents over with respect & manners!

[Cristi]

some girls are like that all the time & some girls only get like that when something is bothering them. I dont know what kind of girl she is, but you should definatly have a talk with her about it. She might be feeling very insecure for some reason & thats why she is getting upset so easily. Just know that relationships have problems, & there isnt a “perfect couple” that never fights or gets upset. However you are the best judge as to how you feel about a person. If you care about her and she is treating you right, I think all you need is a talk. Tell her how you feel and suggest ways to help her fix the problem.

[Cristi]

I would be very upset if I were in your situation as well. I think you need to talk to him and tell him your boundries. He should know its not right to be asking an ex as a date while he is with you, that I find to be disrespectful to you. A good rule of thumb: if he can openly tell you without worrying he is doing something wrong, then he probably is in the clear. However I noticed you did not know about this until way after the fact. Getting married is a big decission and you need to be able to trust him. If you do not think you can get passed this issue then it might be a good idea to postpone the wedding.
& just so you know, when you snoop around and find stuff then let him know, you could be loosing his trust. & he knows he needs to cover his tracks better. If a man is determined to cheat or be deceitful, he will be. However if a man is determined to make things work, he will do whatever it takes (maybe not 100% all at once)

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